I would like to share my story with you....

as written by Sheryl

My life with Fibromyalgia began some 30 years ago with chronic headaches.
The first Dr. I contacted specifically for the headaches was in a large clinic in Seattle After all the tests etc. they told me they couldn't find any reason or cause for the headaches. As time went on I noticed the stiff neck,
back and shoulders but I was a Secretary by profession and chalked it up to that. Looking back at the past few years, the symptoms have been there all along but still no cause or explanation.

You learn to "live" with the pain, because you think you're crazy, but as time goes on you realize the pain is very real, and tolerating it has become quite impossible. The lack of sleep becomes something that no one can handle for any length of time.You suffer the pain and live from hour to hour hoping you will get a little relief at some point in your day.  You can't explain it to anyone at all because you don't understand it yourself..... you "look" fine...so what's the problem???

For me, the engulfing pain comes on, sometimes without warning...it consumes my whole body and before I know it my hands, arms, legs and "everything" just hurts.....I liken it to two armies,  one the good guys and one the bad guys...
and I'm at their mercy as to who's going to win on any given day...you "really" do feel like  you were run over by a truck.
The first Dr. I went to asked me where
I hurt and I said all over, and he said "oh c'mon now no one can hurt all over", well
I walked out of his office.....

My Diagnosis....finally came....1995
I had been a basket case, hadn't slept in months, spent each night turning in bed over and over not able to sleep in one position for more than a few
minutes.    I was "hurting all over"
It would be like the very worst flu you've  ever had...The Dr. put me on an anti-depressant for sleep and Prednisone 5 mg, it actually  gave me my life back..For the first time in months I could sleep and make it through the day without laying in bed crying cause the pain wouldn't stop.
 
 

The Polymyalgia Rheumatica

is a disorder that causes stiffness and aching that begins in the neck, shoulder and hip areas. It isn't known whether it is a disease of the joints, muscles or arteries.  It is the one that causes the 
inflammation, while the Fibromyalgia
affects the muscles, connective tissue, & nerve endings...it makes your skin hurt... The sleep isn't restorative, but does help with your nerves.  I just have to be aware of the side effects...you end up just experimenting with drugs just to see what you are able to tolerate and just enough so that you can get through the day.  Each day is a new set of pains 
different places, in your body and limbs
so you live one day at a time and just
do what you can do and forgive yourself
for what you are unable to do!!

I used to crochet, sew, do all kinds of crafts and I had a Calligraphy business.  I can't do any of those things by hand anymore. My husband bought me this computer and it gave me a medium to continue with some  of my humble artistic ability.  I really believe that if it weren't for all the quotes I've
collected over the years and the loving support from my family, I couldn't have kept my positive outlook on life.  At least I try, there are days it is very hard. 
I would rather participate in my life instead of watching others do what I once did.I can still paint and draw and type...just  have to quit once and a while to stretch. Fibromyalgia creates a"jelling" effect in your body....that is if you are in one position for any length of time your body "jells up" or  gets stiff...you have to make yourself get up and move around, till you are "able" to move round...it is a painful effort...it takes me  a couple of hours in the morning before I  can move without pain after a night in bed.

The depression comes when you aren't able  to hold your new Granddaughter because your  arms and legs hurt so bad.....you can't walk any distance or your legs feel like they are going
to fall off...you have to ask for a "Table" in  a restaurant because it's too hard to get up  from a booth bench.  You have to use the handicapped toilet when you are out in public because you can't get up from the toilet. it's too low.....so  you are able to use the bars to pull yourself up.  It's been very depressing having gained alot of weight, due to the medicine I'm taking.  I have had a weight problem all  my life and I've lost the same 50 lbs at least 50 times!!this is depressing just into itself

For the daily pain you have to endure, physical  & mental..I don't want to go out in public because hate the way I look and feel.  I would like to just  once wake up in the morning and feel that I had a good rest.  But every morning when I get
up I feel like I need to go to bed for 8 hours so I would feel better and rested. 
I get up every  morning exhausted.
You just have to learn to count your blessings and find it in your heart to forgive yourself the things that you can't do anymore and find other things that you can do.. You learn to really listen to your body, only you know your
limits.  There are more days than not that Iend up crying to myself..for my life before Fibromyalgia.  I know I'm not alone, and that there are allot of you "out there" with FM...This is what keeps me going, knowing that
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, and trying not too.You just have to hit yourself...over the head and
get on with it.  I truly try to do the ordinary daily chores around the house.  Just doing a simple load of clothes is exhausting and painful.  When
you have a debilitating condition like this you become painfully aware at how  many steps are in certain
simple tasks.  

^{December 30, 1997}

^{I have now been diagnosed with}
Arthritis in my hands, fingers, wrists and occasionally in my feet...The FM has worsened in the past few months...
We went to Los Angeles and worked
for a month between November and December my Arthritis was much worse there..don't know why I was looking forward to the warmer climate...thinking the damp was making me worse
but it was totally the opposite.  It's so confusing and frustrating..